Thursday, April 06, 2006
The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.
I'm writing this in my darkened bedroom, in bed under the covers with 6 pillows propping me up. I'm hungover for the second time in less than a week. This has got.to.stop,
I go through these stages where I get myself obilterated drinking beer and dancing like a fool, and it often involves blacking out an hour into the evening. I obtain all of my memories the following day from my boyfriend and house mate, who take evil pleasure in reminding me how I grazed my shoulder falling down some stairs, or ate an entire large turkish pide on my own.
I don't like myself today.
I never like myself after going on these stupid benders. I try to explain to my boyfriend how I don't like getting so drunk, but once I start, it's hard for me to stop. I was thinking yesterday, about how I might be an alcoholic. That thought is now gone. If I ever see or smell another beer again it will be too soon. Alcoholics don't think this way, right?
I go through these stages where I get myself obilterated drinking beer and dancing like a fool, and it often involves blacking out an hour into the evening. I obtain all of my memories the following day from my boyfriend and house mate, who take evil pleasure in reminding me how I grazed my shoulder falling down some stairs, or ate an entire large turkish pide on my own.
I don't like myself today.
I never like myself after going on these stupid benders. I try to explain to my boyfriend how I don't like getting so drunk, but once I start, it's hard for me to stop. I was thinking yesterday, about how I might be an alcoholic. That thought is now gone. If I ever see or smell another beer again it will be too soon. Alcoholics don't think this way, right?
// posted by Amy @ 12:04 PM 
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Well I do think blacking out is a problem...but unless you're drinking everyday and can only find the pleasures of life BY DRINKING, then I wouldn't worry you're becoming an alchy. What;s deeper is why do you feel the need to get Obliterated once and a while? To destroy yourself every so often? We all feel that way from time to time and part of our illogical human desire to self destruct, but damn, Little A, be careful and it may be hard but guilt gets you no where.
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