Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Karma karma karma chameleon..
Walking home today, I was following a little, homeless woman through the mall. She was walking incredibly slowly and I'm a fast walker so I was gaining on her quite rapidly. I'm just about to overtake her when she whips around to face me, then shrinks back asking in a trembling voice "Why are you following me, Miss?". I looked at her, surprised that she seemed afraid of me and told her soothingly "I'm not following you, I'm just walking." I overtake her, only glancing back once to see her look at me with a puzzled expression.
I admit, I must have looked a little intimidating, I'm 5'10" and was wearing 3" heels, plus was dressed in a black business suit with my hair pulled back and glasses on. She was 5" nothing and was dressed in rags, her hair in knots and a squinty look in her eye.
The encounter left me shaken. I help when I can, give when I can and feel bad when I can, but I've realised that this may not be enough.
A few months ago I was eating my lunch in the sun, when a man approached me asking for money. I felt annoyed and angry. I work so hard for my money and here is this loser with the nerve to want some of it. After I rudely told him no, he walked away with a small glance at my half eaten sandwich. "Wait!" I called out, "Do you want this?" offering the sandwich. He looked at me with such relief and gratitude that my heart swelled so much I thought it would burst. Now I look back, I think Fuck, it was only a half eaten sandwich, you think I'd bathed his blistered feet and given him a massage I felt so moral and high-and-mighty
Thinking about these two separate incidences makes me want to do more - much more. I finish work early tomorrow and will be signing up at the volunteer association for anything they want me to do. I need to be less of a taker and more of a giver.
I admit, I must have looked a little intimidating, I'm 5'10" and was wearing 3" heels, plus was dressed in a black business suit with my hair pulled back and glasses on. She was 5" nothing and was dressed in rags, her hair in knots and a squinty look in her eye.
The encounter left me shaken. I help when I can, give when I can and feel bad when I can, but I've realised that this may not be enough.
A few months ago I was eating my lunch in the sun, when a man approached me asking for money. I felt annoyed and angry. I work so hard for my money and here is this loser with the nerve to want some of it. After I rudely told him no, he walked away with a small glance at my half eaten sandwich. "Wait!" I called out, "Do you want this?" offering the sandwich. He looked at me with such relief and gratitude that my heart swelled so much I thought it would burst. Now I look back, I think Fuck, it was only a half eaten sandwich, you think I'd bathed his blistered feet and given him a massage I felt so moral and high-and-mighty
Thinking about these two separate incidences makes me want to do more - much more. I finish work early tomorrow and will be signing up at the volunteer association for anything they want me to do. I need to be less of a taker and more of a giver.
// posted by Amy @ 7:14 PM 
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